Dear fellow Bostonian,

I, Ryan Lopes, a Sam Yoon for Mayor supporter, would like to announce that I officially endorse Thomas Menino for re-election as Mayor of Boston now that Yoon is out of the race. Sounds wrong, considering Yoon is basically Menino’s polar opposite and Yoon officially supports Michael Flaherty, right? I don’t think so.  Not anymore.

Now, given that I know very little about this election or the problems and political intricacies of Boston, I do know that partisanship and big issues on a grand scale have little to do with municipal administration (the mayor doesn’t appoint a US Supreme Court justice). So, while Menino may not be a hip choice, I move that we spare the City of Boston from an exercise in futility, and eliminate the associated risk, by re-electing old slob mouth Menino.

Here’s my 2 + 2 = 4

2. If it aint broke, don’t fix it. The quality of life in Boston is better than most US cities and it’s continuing an upward trend in most categories. Why change leadership right now?

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2. If it is broke, you need NEW ideas to fix it. On all issues, Flaherty hasn’t offered any innovative ideas, only slightly different ideas that don’t imply success and seem to be thought up only for the purpose of differentiating his candidacy.

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4. Flaherty’s campaign is based solely on his political aspirations. He fundamentally agrees with Menino’s politics, but he simply wants to be Mayor. He panders to Menino’s naysayers (namely, the firefighter’s union) and has shown that he would possibly be even more entrenched in the same kind of old closed-door politics but instead he would be dishonest about it and he is arguably less equipped to negotiate with these oldschool salty seahag Boston institutions (the firefighters expect something BIG in return for their endorsement).

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Icing on the cake: Yoon’s Political Lust: Now I want to vote for Menino based on principle

Sam Yoon offered the concept of radical change. Flaherty does not offer change. Now Sam Yoon is Flaherty’s “running mate”. How does that equate?

Here’s my shithead opinion. This is what really burns my ass (keep in mind my ass would be my neck if I’m a shithead).

Yoon tasted power and now he’s an addict. So much that he’s willing to trade his loyal constituency for the promise of a dubious Deputy Mayor position, despite the fact that Flaherty’s platform in no way represents the interests of Yoon’s constituency. That, I think, is the definition of a political “sell out”.  A good analogy would be if Ralph Nader hopped on the Mit Romney ticket to take down John McCain in the Republican Primary. It wouldn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. And I’m not trying to hear that Yoon’s doing it so he can affect change in an unexpected new way. Essentially, this is a Bogus Journey after an Excellent Adventure didn’t pan out.

Consider the preliminary mayoral election results below. It makes perfect sense that the 2nd place guy would want to barter for the 3rd place guy’s votes if he was willing to make a deal.

Candidate                                   votes         share
*THOMAS M. MENINO           41026       50.52%
*MICHAEL F. FLAHERTY      19459      23.96%
SAM YOON                             17179      21.16%

*Finalists

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Sam, please step down and go back to being a good Councilman.  I will vote for you again next time and hopefully more people will as well.

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P.S. Thank you for all of your comforting and affection when my Golden Bears went down hard last week. I blame Yoon.

Ryan Lopes

This might qualify as obsessive on my part, but you’ve likely experienced the same frustration if you’ve heard the Summer 2009 reggaeton hit “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)” by Pitbull.

Specifically, during the bridge part of the song, which eventually leads into it’s namesake chorus, a trumpet (or some other brass sounding instrument) plays four ascending notes but then abruptly stops short of delivering the payoff notes. No payoff, just a Bridge to Nowhere. Instead, the song just echoes that fourth anticlimactic note like a waving finger that mockingly signals your rejection.  It’s really a horrific experience. And what’s worse, this little flaming rum drink of a cut-short crescendo trumpet riff is actually a half-assed sample of some groovy song that I can’t put my finger on! (Not to mention, this all coincides some of the most innovative lyrics of this decade: “one. two. three. four. uno. dos. tres. cuatro.” But Pitbull’s bilingual brilliance here is besides the point.)

All things considered, I’d been relatively unaffected by Pitbull’s “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)” until it showed up in a movie trailer (”Couple’s Retreat”, some stupid movie with Vince Vaughn and John Favreau).

Having reached my breaking point with that damn trumpet part of the song, I decided to launch an investigation and see if I could discover the trumpet source.  After an intense 20 minutes on google, here’s my basic deconstruction of the song’s shameful trumpet bridge:

There are actually two layers of half-assed sampling involved.

1. Pitbull’s song (the song in question) is actually a nearly total sample of some weird Brazilian club song  “75, Brazil St” by Nicola Fasano and Pat Rich

2. The heart of the issue! The trumpet part of that weird Brazilian song is indeed a half-assed sample of a groovy song that I finally put my finger on: “Street Player” by Chicago.

So in summary, some other song used the half-assed annoying sample (albeit in a seemingly honest artistic effort) and Pitbull (the confirmed offender) then used a quarter-assed sample and made it famous.

Is it just me, or do you at least once a month scroll through your digital cable tv guide and attempt t0 watch something on the Independent Film Channel only to realize again that it’s not included in your cable package?  Ain’t that some bullshiznit?

I think there’s something disingenuous and perhaps ironic about the “Independent” Film Channel.  Or maybe not.  “Independent” in no way implies “free”, right?

Man, I really wanted to watch that documentary about acclaimed spaghetti western director Sergio Leone.

These are grand themes that I fear I am too illequipped to discuss, as if by design.